2008 Woodie Awards
Student mothers face unique challenges
Danielle Stillman
Issue date: 10/11/07 Section: Features
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According to senior English major Amanda Lee, being a student mother is a delicate juggling act. It takes time, patience, and boundless energy. "Anyone who tells you that being a student and a mother is easy is lying," Lee said, laughing. In addition to filling the role prescribed to them as students, they also have to schedule their lives around a growing child's needs.
Some of the mothers on campus are single and others are married; some have one child to look after, and others head up large, blended families. While many mothers are considered non-traditional students, others are in their early 20s. Whatever their situation, each woman has a unique story to tell.
Meet the Parents
The reasons why the women chose UST are as diverse as their backgrounds.
Some had prior connections to the University. Francesca London, senior communication major, entered the University as a freshman out of high school in the early 1990s, then entered the film industry, moved several times, but ended up back in Houston. She now has four children to look after, ranging in age from 2 to 15. Michele Murphey Coffield, junior English major, remembers her own mother putting in hours of study and earning her degree from UST when Coffield was 9.
Christen Sistrunk is a senior psychology major. "I started college right out of high school, and I didn't really take to it," Sistrunk said. "It was really a blessing for me to get pregnant because it was kind of like a kick in the pants." Having her son, now 5, gave Sistrunk the drive to complete her education and finish what she had started. She said she felt it was important to attend UST because she knew she would be treated as a person, not a number.
Amanda Duhon, senior international studies major, is a single mother to a 7-year-old daughter. "I knew that I needed to stay in Houston, because that's where my support system was," she said, referring to her family and friends. Lee also said she spent some time as a single mother before remarrying and gaining a stepson.
Helping Hands
Senior theology major Tricia Cano agreed that life as a mother and student is not easy. She has three children, ranging in age from 18 months to 7 years. Cano became pregnant with her youngest daughter in 2005. "That was interesting, going to school and being pregnant for a semester," Cano said. "Those were the lowest grades I got. I had a hard time concentrating and I was really tired, because it was early on in the pregnancy." She took the next semester off, but was happy to return because she said she missed learning.
Her professors are very understanding of her situation, and Cano said she always makes sure she lets each professor know that she is a mother and that emergencies may arise. Duhon, too, has enjoyed the flexibility of her professors, who allow her to miss class occasionally to take care of her daughter as long as her class responsibilities are fulfilled. "Many of the professors are parents, so they understand," Duhon said.
Some of the women said that Counseling Services has been a big help to many mothers at St. Thomas. "I can come in with my husband or my son," Sistrunk said. "They've been very welcoming." When Lee entered the University, she was going through a divorce, so counseling helped her through a very tough time. "I was on my way to a very bad meltdown," Lee said. "Within a matter of weeks, there was dramatic improvement."
Coffield said family support is one of the most important factors in completing a degree at UST. She lives with her parents and siblings, and Duhon's mother and brother help look after her daughter. Sistrunk's husband's work situation allows him some flexibility to work around her school and work schedule.
Lee's family was skeptical about her ability to handle the course-load. "Now they see that graduation is right there, and I'll likely graduate with honors," Lee said. "They're pulling for me."
Challenges
Course-scheduling presents a problem for many working mothers, Coffield added. "There's a couple of classes where I run into problems," she said. "The Chaucer class is Monday-Wednesday in the spring and it doesn't change its scheduling, ever."
When she first began, Tricia Cano was able to take classes solely at night, which meant she did not have to worry about day care. "That changed, drastically," she said. "Suddenly all of my classes were during the day and that placed a huge financial burden on us." Lee said she agreed. "You just sort of have to hope and pray that the class you need is offered at a time you can take," Lee said.
Sistrunk said taking classes at night does not work for every mother.
"Last semester I took a night course, and that was kind of rough," she said. "I'd come home and my kid should've already eaten and gone to bed, but usually he hadn't. This semester, I'm gone a lot. My son will say 'Mommy, I miss you,' and that's the hardest part about it."
London has had to hire a nanny part time to allow for class and study time.
"It would be really awesome if St. Thomas had some sort of day care program," Coffield said. "I don't really understand why they don't because there's a large number of moms that go to school here. In every class I'm in, there's at least one other mom." Coffield believes it would ease the burden of arranging day care for children, as well as having to schedule commute time to and from offsite day care facilities.
Cano agreed. Her husband, who attended the University of Houston, was able to use its daycare facilities when he was earning his degree. "I really wish there was some sort of scholarship or financial assistance for mothers," she said. Being saddled with the costs of day care has forced Cano to work part-time, which in turn takes time away from her studies. "There are so many scholarships out there, but I've never found one for mothers, specifically," she said.
Intersection of Family and School
According to the women, though it may be rough at times, motherhood is not always a disadvantage in school. Many mothers are able to relate their coursework to their family life. Sistrunk was able to track and chart her son's development in a child psychology course. London helps her son with his homework and Duhon was able to assist her daughter with her catechism while she took a theology course.
Lee says she's become less judgmental and more understanding of her children through the philosophy and theology courses she's taken. "It's helped me to explain the world to them a little bit better," she said.
Cano says that her coursework and home life are constantly colliding. "My oldest son has brought up some of the most profound questions," she said. "I'll try to give him this '7- year-old' answer, but then he'll respond in a way that blows my mind-he'll know beyond the answer that I give him." Her son's teacher has told her that, in religion class, he cites his mom as an expert. Though embarrassing, Cano said, "at least I know he's listening."
Coffield has a son who just turned 4. Her scholastic persistence seems to have rubbed off on him. "He sees me highlighting in my books, so he has books that he pretends to read from and he highlights very carefully in his books," Coffield said. "I feel like that's ingraining good study habits in him." Both Lee and Duhon agree. They have used their own academic success to motivate their children.
London said her children are the main reason she returned to school to complete her degree. "It wasn't just for me," she said. "It was for them. I want them to know it doesn't matter when you go back, you can finish your education."