Cauldron

Issue date: 5/1/08 Section: Features

Media Credit: Shannen Garza LOVE BIRDS hold hands and show off their wedding bands.

First comes love, then comes marriage - then comes graduation? UST students who become engaged during their college career undertake a balancing act between managing coursework and planning a wedding. Appointments to sample wedding cakes and choose floral arrangements while studying for midterms and writing papers present challenges that most do not face until after college.

It takes more then 250 hours to plan the average wedding, according to usawedlink.com.

"Imagine all the stresses of senior year added to the stresses of planning a wedding," senior Catholic studies major Beckie Becan said. "It can get hectic," she said. "However, you have the support of someone you love and who loves you helping you through it."

Pressure to succeed in the classroom is one of many challenges of being engaged while still attending college, according to sophomore biology major Adam Farnie. A greater necessity to do well comes from knowing that your performance not only affects you, but your future spouse as well, he said.

"There is a new feeling of 'we' instead of just 'I,'" Farnie said. "Knowing that your performance in school not only affects you but your [future] spouse, as well, is a greater motivator to do well."

The most difficult part about being engaged while attending school full time is coordinating schedules with your fiancé in order to make wedding arrangements, according to senior biology major Emalee Smith who was married in May 2006.

"My husband was really supportive, but planning was really stressful at times because he wanted a hand in everything," she said.

Smith chose her wedding date based on her school schedule. Her wedding took place during finals, so that she would return from her 10-day honeymoon in time for summer school. Smith had to take one final early that was originally scheduled the day after her wedding.

"I was so stressed out about finals that I didn't have time to be nervous about the wedding," Smith said. "I didn't get nervous until a few minutes before I walked down the aisle."

Not having enough time to spend with one's fiancé is an additional challenge of being engaged while still in college, senior English major Amanda LoCascio said.

"He's extremely understanding when I have homework to do or papers to write, but it's difficult because I want to spend that time with him," she said.

Planning a wedding and being a student is a large load but engaged UST student, Melissa Baker, said that her fiancé offers support and helps her keep a positive outlook. "With any relationship comes stress, but knowing that you have someone to support and encourage you really helps," she said. "Also, [my fiancé] doesn't let me procrastinate as much as I would otherwise. However, the wedding planning itself is stressful and very time consuming."

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